Speaking With Your Mouth Shut
“I speak two languages, Body and English.”
Mae West, American Actress (1892-1980)
Whilst driving to a breakfast networking meeting in Inverness, I was listening to the radio. There was someone on who mentioned that he was going on a week-long retreat – a silent retreat. No talking would be allowed. The presenter asked him how he would cope, but his guest replied that you can make a lot of noise without actually opening your mouth. Now he wasn’t talking about banging on the table to get attention, but about body language and facial expressions as a means of communicating.
This got me thinking about how we all communicate so much without speaking. What are you saying about yourself before you even utter a word? How do you dress? How do you walk? What do your facial expressions say about you as a person? Are they conveying enthusiasm and motivation, or are they telling a whole different story?
How can you use the unspoken message to assist you in reaching your goals? Are you looking for promotion? Do you need to have a good look at your appearance and how you present yourself to the world? Someone who is well-groomed and takes care of their appearance (I am not talking super vanity here, but of taking pride in how you present yourself.) conveys professionalism and attention to detail, someone who is on the ball. Who would you choose if you wanted someone to get the job done? Someone well turned out or Sloppy Joe? Just a thought.
To make changes to your outward appearance, whether it is what you are wearing or the way your walk or even how you form an expression is something that starts within. You need to feel that this is what you want to do. You have to understand what makes this important to you and what benefits you’ll gain from doing it. It shouldn’t be because I’ve said this is how you should be, but because you’ve actually taken notice and thought “Yes, I need to work on this. I’m not really giving out the messages I want to.”
It is easy to overlook these silent messages. Not any more! Watch the people around you. What are they telling you without words? How can use what you see to help you in your own unspoken communications? The hows and the how-not-tos!
Motivated, enthusiastic people move with energy. It shows in the way they walk, striding forward with head held high, ready to meet anything that comes their way. Sometimes it takes a little effort and practice to do this, especially for people who have got into the habit of moving as though they are afraid someone may notice them! Actively seek attention, but in a positive way. You don’t have to become a great show-off, but start by putting your shoulders back, hold that head up high and show that you mean business!
Of course you don’t have to do this, but you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t want to get the most out of your life.
What new thing could you do each day to wordlessly convey what a positive, energetic, enthusiastic person you are?
How creative can you be in your wordless communications? This could be fun! You could even enlist the cooperation of your colleagues, friends and family to see how long it takes them to read the message you are giving them with speaking. Remember the game ‘Charades’? You could play your own version on any topic you like, not just a book, film or television programme title.
How much does it cost to present an enthusiastic, positive impression? Nothing but effort and practice. Are you used to frowning as you walk into the office? (Maybe you haven’t actually been aware of your expression.) Try a smile for a change and see what results you get. If a smile is beyond you for the moment, how about just a neutral expression. It has to be better than a frown! Now see how well you can speak with your mouth shut!
Kate Harper is a Motivation Coach based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com
She works with people from all over the world who are seeking change in their lives. If that is you, please take a look at Kate’s website. Her special interests are the promotion of Wellbeing and Self Confidence through her coaching.
“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.” Madame Marie du Deffand
Take your first step today and contact Kate.
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